Does it ever happen to you? To be nostalgic, to think of old memories, just to remind yourself of the good, but also the bad moments that made up your life to this point. Well, that is what I did today. I just looked back at the nineteen-year-old me, enjoying life in a sweet, innocent, carefree way and I now look at the twenty-nine-year-old me, enjoying life in a painful but deep, and yet luxurious, sophisticated, and more involved way. It’s like ice cream versus a more intricate meal. Each bite is more palatable to its respective audience. Not one is better than the other, they’re simply different.
I remember just comprehending things at a surface level, laughing even when it didn’t require me to, walking with this cadence in my step, dressing like my body wasn’t a canvas. Just living without any double-take, without any thought for the future, at least not the long term.
Today is quite different, my walk hasn’t changed though. I’m simply more intentional. Dressing up is about showing my creative sensitivity, laughing only happens when I genuinely feel like it. Conversations get deeper. They have a purpose, a sense, we’re trying to get somewhere…and if we’re not, we’re trying to get something…out of it.
Naivety has faded away, though I do miss it at times…thinking that the world is the way we see it and not the way it is. Hold on to that thought, maybe the world is, after all, the way we see it. Hurts hurt deeply, feelings feel strongly, the joy is real, and life just goes on. We learn, we grow, we grow some more, we create structure, we make sure our life has a sense so we can justify the air we breathe. Earth is not wasteful. You must be able to argue why you. So, you start working on identifying your talent, so you can serve it to the world, and you can feed your soul. That’s the only currency that matters.
-MB